When we think of domestic abuse, physical violence often comes to mind. However, abuse isn’t always visible—it can be psychological, emotional, and deeply manipulative. This is where coercive control comes in, a form of abuse that became illegal in the UK in 2015. Despite this, it remains one of the most pervasive and insidious aspects of domestic abuse, present in most abusive relationships.
In the year leading up to March 2023, 43,774 offences of coercive control were recorded by the police in England and Wales (excluding Devon and Cornwall). This statistic highlights a grim reality: coercive control is alarmingly common, yet often misunderstood or overlooked.
What is Coercive Control?
Coercive control is a pattern of behaviour that uses threats, humiliation, and intimidation to harm, punish, or instil fear. Unlike one-off incidents of abuse, coercive control is an ongoing strategy that strips away a person’s autonomy and self-worth. The abuser dominates the victim/survivors life, making them feel powerless and dependent.
How Coercive Control Manifests
Coercive control takes many forms, but some of the most common tactics include:
- Isolation from Support Networks: The abuser may deliberately cut the victim/survivor off from friends and family, making them feel alone. They might badmouth loved ones or convince the victim/survivor that no one will believe them. Using a survivor’s insecure immigration status to threaten deportation, destroying immigration documents etc
- Constant Criticism and Belittling: The abuser may repeatedly put their partner down, telling them they are worthless, unlovable, or incapable of living independently. This emotional manipulation affects self-esteem over time.
- Threats and Intimidation: The use of verbal threats, destruction of property, or aggressive body language to instil fear and compliance.
- Using children to exert control – by criticising or belittling the victim in front of them, or by threatening to take the children away
- Threatening to harm pets
- Monitoring and Restricting Movements: The victim/survivor may be told where they can go, who they can see, what they can wear, and even what time they must be home. In extreme cases, the abuser may track their location or insist on constant check-ins.
- Financial Control: The abuser might take full control of the household finances, forcing the victim to ask for money or justify every expense. Some may even withhold money entirely, leaving the victim/survivor financially trapped.
- Food Control: Withholding food, dictating what and when the victim can eat, or forcing them to consume things they dislike are all forms of control that contribute to their disempowerment.
You Are Not Alone—Help is Available
Coercive control can make you feel trapped, but there is a way out. If you are experiencing this form of abuse, know that support is available..
If you are in immediate danger, call 999.
For confidential advice and support, contact us on 0808 2800 999. Our One Front Door helpline is open Monday to Friday, 9:30 am – 4:30 pm (closed for lunch between 1:00 pm – 1:30 pm). The call is free, confidential, and will not appear on itemised bills.
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