“She left him, so she’s safe.”

By Anna, Domestic Abuse Intervention Facilitator

“Separation often produces neither safety nor freedom” Dr Emma Katz

Please note this blog discusses themes which some readers may find distressing.

“She left him, so she’s safe”

The above is a phrase I have heard from professionals, falsely believing that the end of an abusive relationship is a time of safety. Whilst the statement “she got away from her abuser so now she must be safe” makes sense, unfortunately, separation from the relationship can be the most dangerous time and the abuse can get worse.

For some perpetrators, separation represents a significant loss of power and control. Abusive behaviour may therefore continue, change or escalate following separation as the perpetrator attempts to re-establish control over the survivor. This can make the post-separation period particularly difficult and, in some circumstances, increasingly dangerous.

What is it and how common is it?

Post-separation abuse is a lesser-known form of domestic abuse. The Domestic Abuse Act 2021 strengthened the recognition of abuse that can continue after a relationship has ended, including controlling or coercive behaviour between former intimate partners. Domestic Abuse Act 2021. 

Research shows that almost 90% of survivors are subjected to post-separation abuse after the end of the relationship. It is defined as “the ongoing, wilful pattern of intimidation of a former intimate partner”.

This abuse can take several forms, including stalking and harassment, repeated unwanted contact, threats and intimidation, economic abuse, technology-facilitated abuse and the use of children or child-contact arrangements to maintain control. Perpetrators may also attempt to use legal or court processes as another means of continuing abusive behaviour. Post-separation abuse can be persistent, targeted and relentless.

Children can also be directly affected by post-separation abuse. Child-contact arrangements, handovers or communication about children can provide further opportunities for a perpetrator to continue exerting control. Children may be placed in the middle of communication, used to obtain information about the survivor or exposed to ongoing abusive behaviour. It is therefore important that the impact and risk to children is considered alongside the risk to the survivor.

For professionals, separation should not automatically be viewed as a reduction in risk. Where there has been domestic abuse, professionals should remain alert to continued or escalating patterns of behaviour following separation and consider the safety of both the survivor and any children.

The severity of the issue

Professor Jane Monckton-Smith developed the Homicide Timeline, an eight-stage model which identifies patterns that can precede intimate partner homicide. The model highlights separation as a potentially significant point within this progression. Post-separation abuse can be fatal.

Research in the United States found that 44% of women murdered by an intimate partner in the study had separated or were in the process of leaving.  Here in the UK, we have the high-profile case of Claire and Charlotte Hart who were murdered in a swimming pool car park by Lance Hart (husband and father) four days after fleeing his abuse. Closer to home in Bradford, Kulsuma Akter was murdered in front of her son by her abusive husband after she had left the relationship.

Post Separation Abuse and Suicide

Whilst homicide is a huge threat to survivors in a post-separation context, there is also the risk of death by suicide. Justene Reece and Katie Madden both died by suicide after being subjected to post-separation abuse by ex-partners. There is increasing recognition of the relationship between domestic abuse, trauma and suicide, and of the importance of understanding the ongoing impact of abuse following separation.

Ending post-separation abuse

Staying Put is the lead provider for the West Yorkshire IDVA Service (Child Focused Courts), working in partnership with Leeds Domestic Violence Service, represented by Behind Closed Doors, Women Centre and Pennine Domestic Abuse Partnership. The aim is to support families and their children through the family court process by putting them at the centre of the process. This project works directly with survivors subjected to post-separation abuse by their ex-partners and ensures their voice is heard throughout the process. Find out more here.