Honouring survivors of sexual violence

A note from Yasmin Khan, CEO, Staying Put.

This Domestic Abuse Awareness Month, I want to begin with the survivors whose lives have been changed by sexual violence and abuse.

At the heart of this conversation are survivors: people whose lives have been profoundly affected by sexual violence and abuse. They deserve to be heard, believed and treated with dignity, compassion and respect. What happened to survivors should never define who they are or limit their right to safety, choice and a life free from abuse and control.

Sexual violence thrives in secrecy, silence and shame

Sexual violence thrives in secrecy, silence and shame. It can happen within relationships, families and communities, often perpetrated by people a survivor knows and trusts. Its impact can last long after the abuse has ended.

Abuse does not always stop when someone leaves, and it does not only happen offline. Technology can provide perpetrators with new ways to monitor, threaten, harass and control survivors. Phones, social media, location tracking and connected devices can all become tools of abuse. For some survivors, control can continue online long after they have physically separated from the perpetrator.

What we see publicly is only part of the picture

Recent cases here in the UK and internationally have brought renewed attention to the scale and complexity of sexual violence. But what we see publicly is only part of the picture.

Gisèle Pelicot’s decision to waive her anonymity and speak publicly has helped bring difficult conversations about sexual violence, consent, power and abuse into the public eye. But survivors should never feel they have to speak openly or report it in order to be believed or supported.

Closer to home, the case of a woman from Greater Manchester subjected to prolonged drug-facilitated sexual abuse by her husband has also brought the reality of such abuse into sharp focus. Her husband has pleaded guilty to 60 offences following a 20-year campaign of abuse, while other men have faced charges in connection with the wider investigation. (gmp.police.uk)

Courage should never be a condition of being believed.

I have enormous respect for survivors who choose to speak about what has happened to them. But courage should never be a condition of being believed. Survivors deserve to be listened to, believed and supported, whether they report immediately, later or never.

At Staying Put, our responsibility is to listen, believe and act; to create safe spaces where survivors can make informed choices and to support them to find safety, regain choice and rebuild their independence.

Supporting survivors with compassion, care and professionalism

I am proud to lead a team whose commitment to this work remains unwavering. Every day, my colleagues support survivors with compassion, care and professionalism, helping them navigate some of the most difficult moments of their lives.

If you or someone you know is affected by domestic or sexual abuse, you do not have to face it alone. Support is available, and you can seek help in your own time and in whatever way feels right for you.

If you are experiencing sexual violence, there is help available. See below.