Case study- Alaia’s story

Alaia* had been in an abusive relationship once before, with her child’s father. Her child was picked up from school one day by Dad and not returned. She had been violently assaulted by her new partner but the pain of not being with her child made her want to not go on. Alaia said “The day I rang for help, the day I realised it was time for me to leave, it was the last time I let my abuser hurt me.”

Alaia did not want to report anything to the police, but wanted to have a safe planned move out. She could only leave on a day when her partner would be at work but needed to move fast as he often made unannounced visits back to the house to make sure she was at home. Once the referral and risk assessment was completed, a plan of action was agreed with Alaia to get her to the refuge safely.

Alaia recalls the day she arrived to the refuge, she was met by two staff who comforted her and told her “I was safe now… it was genuinely one of the most empowering moments of my life.” She recalls the warmth and concern she saw in all the staff for her, the “warm cup of tea and shown to my lovely new home, there was a little basket of things waiting for me… I realised I wasn’t alone in this anymore.”

Alaia was allocated a Domestic Abuse Support Worker and the Children & Young Persons Support Worker to work through her individual goals and outcomes in a trauma informed way. The refuge staff worked together to ensure she continued to feel safe and supported during her stay.

“The next couple of weeks I knew I had a fight on my hands, staff was there every step of the way and helped me find the courage I needed to report my abuser and help me get my child back.” Alaia was accompanied at the court hearing where staff advocated on her behalf.

Alaia and her child were referred for further specialist support within the Survive & Thrive consortium where they had one to one and group sessions to support with their trauma and to re-establish their parent-child bond. Alaia was also referred for counselling support.

Alaia showed a marked improvement during our internal regular assessments and evaluations. She said her Domestic Abuse Support Worker “made me laugh till my belly hurt, stood up for my rights as a woman and made me believe I was worthy.”

Alaia’s partner was charged with stalking and harassment and remanded in custody. She and her child are safe, happy and thriving in their new community.

*Name has been changed

Beverly’s Story

Our ISVA supported Beverly to get a conviction. Here’s what happened:

Beverly is a 45-year-old woman who was subjected to years of rape and domestic abuse by her partner. She came to Staying Put for support and was allocated both an IDVA (Independent Domestic Violence Advocate) and an ISVA (Independent Sexual Violence Advocate). This support was client led, meaning Beverly was in full control over how she was supported. Eventually Beverly felt ready to report the crimes to police; she was supported to do so by Staying Put. Due to Covid19, Beverly’s case took another two years to get to trial, eventually taking place in January 2023.

In Beverly’s words ‘The police officers who dealt with me were very good and supportive.’

Beverly’s case took four years to investigate before and her ISVA was there for her throughout her criminal justice journey. Beverly’s ex-partner was charged with rape, threats to kill and assault, with three victims in total. During this time, Beverly’s ex-partner also stalked her and Staying Put supported her to report this to the police too.

Beverly’s ex-partner was found guilty of 22 out of the 23 charges against him. The judge recommended he serve an extended sentence, meaning he will serve two to three of the sentence before going before the parole board. The judge also highlighted the controlling and manipulative behaviour of Beverly’s ex-partner throughout the trial.

Beverly is now rebuilding her life. She has been referred for counselling with our Survive and Thrive partner organisation.

*Name has been changed

Beth’s Story

Beth* contacted One Front Door in March 2023 and said that her husband was physically abusive, he would destroy things around the house, and that she had to contact the police a few days ago as she was scared that he may seriously hurt her.

They were in a relationship for less than four years and had a baby together. Beth said that the abuse escalated when she gave birth to their baby. Her husband’s family would regularly get involved and make things worse.

After one of many incidents, Beth decided to leave the family home and move in with her mum. She said that she tried to make her marriage work, but the abuse just got worse and worse with each passing year until it got to a point where she had to explain her whereabouts whenever she wanted to leave the house. Beth explained that it wasn’t just her husband who’s been abusive – on one occasion, she was physically attacked by her in-laws as well.

When Beth first contacted us, she was living in a house that belonged to both her and her husband and she was worried that she will have to vacate the property, which would leave her and her baby homeless.

We have discussed safety concerns with Beth as well as her options including a lock change, installation of a ring doorbell, legal orders: Non-Molestation Order, Occupation Order and Prohibited Steps Order as there was a risk of child abduction.

We agreed with Beth that we will speak to Children Social Care to confirm their involvement and to ensure that she has appropriate support in place.

We have also made an appointment for her with a local family law solicitor to explore her options in more detail.

We kept in touch with Beth over the next few days, and in the meantime, her husband was arrested, and solicitors agreed to take on her case. We provided a legal aid letter to allow her to access free legal service.

Beth needed a few days to process the information and consider her next steps and said that she will reach out to us when she is ready.

We spoke to Beth a few days after the initial contact when she reached out to one of the GP IDVA’s.

Beth was ready to take on full support and have an allocated worker at Staying Put, which we provided within a week.

We completed discussed what support we could give Beth, as well as completing a Needs and Risk Assessment with her. Beth needed emotional support which we provided.

We discussed safety information with Beth as well as making her aware of the services available which enabled her to make informed choices.

Throughout the support, Beth’s and her baby’s safety was paramount ensuring all measures were put in place to safeguard her.

Beth’s worker at Staying Put is supporting her with the ongoing criminal proceedings, as well as child contact proceedings. Staying Put advocates on Beth’s behalf and offers emotional support during their face-to-face appointments.

*Name has been changed

Dania’s Story

Dania*, along with her three year old son, had moved to the UK from Pakistan to live with her husband and his family. However, the move didn’t turn out how she had expected.

Dania didn’t speak English very well and her new family made sure she was isolated quickly. Whenever she had to leave the house- to pick her son up from nursery or go to doctor’s appointments, a family member went with her. The family also listened to all phone calls and would threaten her if she didn’t do as she said.

Whilst living with her husband and in laws Dania was made to do all the household chores and sleep on the floor. Her husband was also threatening to her son and her son was made to sleep on the floor as well.

Dania decided she’d had enough. The police moved her to temporary accommodation and contacted us. Staying Put were able to speak to Dania in Urdu and confidence- finally she was able to tell someone what had been happening.

Speaking with Dania, we could tell she was anxious but also wanted to be supported to leave the abuse she was experiencing. We were able to get Dania a space in our refuge which could accommodate both her and her son.

As Dania left her husband’s house in a hurry, she had money or belongings. Upon arriving at the refuge we were able to provide her with emergency toiletries and food parcels.

One of our first concerns was Dania’s safety. As she had only been in the UK three months, didn’t speak English and had been isolated, we showed her how to call the police in an emergency and how to report incidents to the police.

Dania was allocated an Independent Domestic Violence Advocate (IDVA) from Staying Put, who then were able to put her in touch with a social worker. Dania’s IDVA was able to advocate on her behalf and help her do things like register herself and her son with a doctor, complete child benefit forms, make a witness statement and learn to speak English.

Eventually, due to the support she received, Dania and her son moved to Birmingham to be nearer to her brother and leave the abuse behind.

*Name has been changed

Emma’s Story

Emma* contacted us after experiencing horrific abuse at the hands of her partner. The abuse included stalking, rape and intentional strangulation.

We met up with Emma one to one to understand from her what support she wanted. She told us she wanted help with keeping safe at home, accessing counselling and also support with the criminal justice system.

We discussed installing a panic alarm in Emma’s home to keep her safe, as well as downloading apps such as Hollie Guard and Bright Sky App to stay safe. Our Youth Advocate encouraged Emma to report the incidents to the police and build up a case against her partner. The Young Person’s Advocate also made a referral on behalf of Emma to the National Centre of Domestic Violence to get a non molestation order. A non-molestation order stops an abuser from using or threatening physical violence, intimidating, harassing, pestering or communicating with their partner or person subjected to abuse.

Emma now keeps a track of every incident where her partner contacts her or is abusive in order to build her case. A caseworker from the National Centre of Domestic Violence has also contacted Emma to prepare the injunction application. She is now accessing counselling.

*Name has been changed

Sally’s Story

Sally* was referred to the refuge by police following a horrific assault left her requiring hospital treatment. Staff took the initial call and agreed to contact Sally who was staying in a hotel after being assessed as high risk. Staff had to liaise with the police and the local IDVA service to reach Sally as her abuser had taken her phone and any money she had to fund his drug habit. Staff spoke to Sally during the assessment process to introduce the service, so Sally felt somewhat reassured of her safety and the support she could expect. Sally said she would be happy to come to the refuge and plans were made for her safe arrival. Rail to Refuge was arranged and the hotel kindly printed off her tickets so she could get the train the following day whilst the police still had ger abuser in custody.

Staff picked up Sally from the train station as arranged. Introductions over, Sally got into the vehicle, with the clothes she stood up in and a few belongings in a suitcase. As soon as she got into the car, she was reassured by staff that she was safe now; she replied “I’m bruised but not broken.”

Sally was shown around the refuge, and to her room. Sally was happy with the refuge and even commented that she felt she had come to a retreat because of how lovely her room was and how it had been set up. Our Housekeepers take great pride in how they set up rooms, with a welcome pack that includes toiletries, new pyjamas, fresh bed linen and towels.

Once settled, Sally was provided with vouchers and accompanied to the local supermarket so that she could buy her own groceries and any other items she needed. Over the following days, Sally and her allocated key worker worked together to look at her individual support needs, how to best manage risk, and create a support plan with achievable goals for her. A MARAC to MARAC transfer was done to Bradford.

Sally seemed to find renewed energy, engaged well with her key worker and the Mental Health Advocate within the refuge She was very proactive, registering herself with the local GP practice straightaway. Staff supported Sally to attended the hospital A&E and had tests and x-rays which confirmed she had several broken ribs, a broken nose, a broken tooth and damage to her eye from the recent assault.

Sally bravely took the decision to support the prosecution against her abuser. She was fully supported by both her key worker and the Mental Health Advocate who worked closely together to support Sally. Staff liaised with Witness Care to arrange for Special Measures to be put in place.

Sally’s abuser was remanded in custody for eight weeks following his arrest, and upon release, whilst still on conditional bail not to contact Sally or approach her, he went straight to Sally’s address. Unbeknownst to him that Sally had been moved to a refuge for her safety, he instead encountered a Housing Officer who was at the property. Sally’s abuser was arrested for physically assaulting the Housing Officer at the property and was again remanded in custody.

On the day of court, Sally was understandably nervous and terrified at the prospect of going to court to give evidence. The Mental Health Advocate offered much needed support to Sally. On being told that Sally had indeed attended court to give evidence, her abuser changed his plea last minute to guilty. Sally’s bravery, and the support of staff, had meant that her abuser would be sentenced. Sally would get some closure and further validation. Sally was proud of herself and how far she had come in such a short time. She continued to live in the refuge, made new friends and took part in several activities, she especially enjoyed artwork and gardening. Sally created a beautiful piece of art showcasing a hot air balloon, for her this signifies freedom and infinite possibilities.

Sally soon moved into our dispersed accommodation, where she was able to keep the same support staff and continue working on her specific goals. Before she left the refuge, Sally told staff “I was a broken mess before I came here, I am now healthy and have a future.” Sally feels safe, happy and at peace in the dispersed property and is looking forward to moving out into her own independent tenancy soon. Staff will continue to support

Sally with her move on and resettlement into the community.

*Name has been changed

Alya’s Story

Sally* was referred to the refuge by police following a horrific assault left her requiring hospital treatment. Staff took the initial call and agreed to contact Sally who was staying in a hotel after being assessed as high risk. Staff had to liaise with the police and the local IDVA service to reach Sally as her abuser had taken her phone and any money she had to fund his drug habit. Staff spoke to Sally during the assessment process to introduce the service, so Sally felt somewhat reassured of her safety and the support she could expect. Sally said she would be happy to come to the refuge and plans were made for her safe arrival. Rail to Refuge was arranged and the hotel kindly printed off her tickets so she could get the train the following day whilst the police still had ger abuser in custody.

Staff picked up Sally from the train station as arranged. Introductions over, Sally got into the vehicle, with the clothes she stood up in and a few belongings in a suitcase. As soon as she got into the car, she was reassured by staff that she was safe now; she replied “I’m bruised but not broken.”

Sally was shown around the refuge, and to her room. Sally was happy with the refuge and even commented that she felt she had come to a retreat because of how lovely her room was and how it had been set up. Our Housekeepers take great pride in how they set up rooms, with a welcome pack that includes toiletries, new pyjamas, fresh bed linen and towels.

Once settled, Sally was provided with vouchers and accompanied to the local supermarket so that she could buy her own groceries and any other items she needed. Over the following days, Sally and her allocated key worker worked together to look at her individual support needs, how to best manage risk, and create a support plan with achievable goals for her. A MARAC to MARAC transfer was done to Bradford.

Sally seemed to find renewed energy, engaged well with her key worker and the Mental Health Advocate within the refuge She was very proactive, registering herself with the local GP practice straightaway. Staff supported Sally to attended the hospital A&E and had tests and x-rays which confirmed she had several broken ribs, a broken nose, a broken tooth and damage to her eye from the recent assault.

Sally bravely took the decision to support the prosecution against her abuser. She was fully supported by both her key worker and the Mental Health Advocate who worked closely together to support Sally. Staff liaised with Witness Care to arrange for Special Measures to be put in place.

Sally’s abuser was remanded in custody for eight weeks following his arrest, and upon release, whilst still on conditional bail not to contact Sally or approach her, he went straight to Sally’s address. Unbeknownst to him that Sally had been moved to a refuge for her safety, he instead encountered a Housing Officer who was at the property. Sally’s abuser was arrested for physically assaulting the Housing Officer at the property and was again remanded in custody.

On the day of court, Sally was understandably nervous and terrified at the prospect of going to court to give evidence. The Mental Health Advocate offered much needed support to Sally. On being told that Sally had indeed attended court to give evidence, her abuser changed his plea last minute to guilty. Sally’s bravery, and the support of staff, had meant that her abuser would be sentenced. Sally would get some closure and further validation. Sally was proud of herself and how far she had come in such a short time. She continued to live in the refuge, made new friends and took part in several activities, she especially enjoyed artwork and gardening. Sally created a beautiful piece of art showcasing a hot air balloon, for her this signifies freedom and infinite possibilities.

Sally soon moved into our dispersed accommodation, where she was able to keep the same support staff and continue working on her specific goals. Before she left the refuge, Sally told staff “I was a broken mess before I came here, I am now healthy and have a future.” Sally feels safe, happy and at peace in the dispersed property and is looking forward to moving out into her own independent tenancy soon. Staff will continue to support

Sally with her move on and resettlement into the community.

*Name has been changed

Ashley’s Story

Ashley* was referred to Staying Put though the Multi Agency Risk Assessment Conference (MARAC). At just 23 years old, Ashley had been dominated by her husband throughout their relationship and things had started to become violent. Now pregnant with their second child, Ashley decided to leave following her husband’s threats against their 3-year-old daughter.

When we first began working with Ashley, she was very quiet and we could hardly hear her on the phone. She said she wasn’t used to making decisions because her husband organised everything.

We reassured her and praised her continually to help her to build up her confidence, and acknowledged her for all the things that she had achieved.

We offered continued emotional support, and encouragement that she had made the right decision to leave the relationship and that nobody deserved to live like that. Over the course of a few months we spoke with Ashley about recognizing cohesive relationships and Ashley would open up about the incidents that occurred, sometimes very small, often overlooked incidents, that are characteristic of someone who is controlling a situation. This further recognition became part of the acceptance and healing process for Ashley and she began to talk freely and openly about her experiences and her loss.

We supported Ashley to acknowledge that this behaviour is not acceptable and that often people don’t change unless they have professional support, acknowledge what they do is wrong and they want to change. Relationships should be built on love, trust and respect.

We supported Ashley at a telephone conference for the initial Child Protection Case meeting with her social worker, health worker and police. Concerns were raised about past incidents where Ashley had gone back to her husband, and where she had also previously withdrawn statements. We were able to support Ashley by sharing how well she had engaged with Staying Put and that she was now much more confident, planning a life for her and her children and that the reasons for her statement withdrawal was based on fear of what may happen to her family due to threats that her ex had made.

One of Ashley’s main concerns was to find safe accommodation for her, her daughter and unborn baby. We helped her look for suitable areas, close to family, and we helped her negotiate flexible tenancy terms with her current landlord, until she was settled in her new home.

Ashley has successfully secured a new tenancy and is now living in her own flat. She feels safe and can now make her own decisions and choices now and about the future.

Ashley told us she felt there wasn’t enough support for young people in terms of confidence building and support with mental health needs. She felt more could be done in schools throughout all year groups and not just as a one off to promote positive relationships. Positive relationships should be embedded into all aspects of a person’s life.

We listened to her, and Staying Put are working to ensure more support is in place for young people.

With our help, Ashley gained the confidence she needed to be happier, healthier and free from a life of violence.

*All names changed to protect our client.

Natasha’s Story

Natasha* was referred to us by her social worker. Her ex-partner had just been released from prison for violent offences, and had already made contact. Natasha had a two-year-old son, and was part of a child protection plan due the abuse from her ex. She was vulnerable and had become isolated.

Due to the coercive control Natasha had been a victim of, she had become estranged from her family, and this was one of the first things she wanted to address – but they didn’t live nearby and Natasha was concerned about travelling. We worked with her to conduct a safe step-by-step travel plan, including train times, platform numbers and welfare checks via phone throughout the journey. Natasha overcame her fears and reconnected with her mum and grandma, forming a new, healthy relationship with them both.

Registering with the local GP practice was another priority. Natasha had severe anxiety and depression resulting in debilitating panic attacks. After several key working sessions, she was confident enough to consider counselling in the form of accessing “my well-being college” and as a result of the sessions Natasha developed coping strategies to help manage her mental health.

Natasha and her little boy received support from the local health visitor who identified that the toddler had speech and language development issues. Natasha was supported to attend local drop-in clinics with her son, and audiology at the local hospital.

Debt management and the repayment of council tax arrears needed to be addressed. We supported and encouraged Natasha to budget and set up a repayment plan. The years of financial abuse from her ex-partner had meant that Natasha had not had access to her own money. We helped Natasha overcome her fear of opening post which in the past had led to missed appointments and unpaid bills.

During a key working session, Natasha disclosed that she had a reliance on cannabis. At her previous property her ex-partner used the house to invite others to smoke there. As a result of this Natasha had become a heavy user of cannabis, and this was something she now wanted to fix. At first, she worried about the reaction from social care if she admitted that she had a problem as she feared losing her child, however Natasha accessed help from Project 6 to discuss her usage and a programme for help was established.

Although Natasha was getting stronger and more independent, she was struggling with her little boy’s behaviour. She would often shout at him, and admitted to locking him in a bedroom as punishment. We challenged her actions, and she agreed she needed help. We agreed with Natasha that we would make a referral to social care, and to the Early Help Gateway’s parenting programme to address the issues. We also made a referral to Family Action for support, who provided sessions at the refuge for Natasha and her son which they enjoyed, and helped them bond.

Then in March, the pandemic hit, and Natasha felt isolated again. Although she was in a support bubble with the other clients at the refuge, not being able to see her family, and the nursery being closed, meant Natasha started to spiral out of control. She began to drink heavily, but we addressed the issue and we worked with Natasha to reduce and eventually stop drinking altogether. Natasha came to the decision that she needed to be near her family, and we worked with her on her next steps.

We made an application to housing providers near to her family, and ensured that Natasha was given priority status. She made a bid for a two-bedroom house and was successful; once repairs are finished she will finally move in to a safe home of her own. Although she is moving out of the Bradford district, we will continue to support her and will use Staying Put’s Phoenix Fund to buy beds, a fridge freezer and microwave to help her set up her new home. Now supported by her family, they are on hand to help furnish and decorate her new home.

A school place been secured for Natasha’s little boy, and she intends to enrol on our family links course and Freedom Programme. We will continue to be in touch with Natasha until she is fully settled with her little boy.

*All names changed to protect our client.